The Most Boring Cascadia Derby You'll Ever See

It was a beautiful Saturday for some football as the Sounders hosted our little brothers, the Portland Timbers. Going into the match, both teams have been relatively shit, so going into it, no one could predict how this would go. The Timbers have the upper hand in the Cascada Cup, but that doesn’t really mean shit.

Despite driving for two+ hours for the match, and my media parking pass not loading up, I came into it in a good mood since Manchester City won the FA Cup: Manchester Derby Edition earlier that morning. City won 2-1 with goals from Gundogan, and I was hoping for something similar heading into this derby.

And boy, was I disappointed.

Lineups

https://twitter.com/SoundersFC/status/1665085372689432576?s=20

https://twitter.com/TimbersFC/status/1665085387117842432?s=20

Match Thoughts

Lumen saw the biggest crowd of the season roar to life for a match against their biggest rivals on a beautiful spring day, the first half of a much-anticipated doubleheader.

Unfortunately, the fans had very little to scream about after that.

The Sounders and Timbers played to a 0-0 tie that was as uninspiring as the scoreline suggested. The two teams combined for 15 shots which equated to just .60 expected goals, one of the lowest totals of the entire MLS season. Neither team looked especially likely to score as both seemed unwilling to throw numbers forward and expose themselves on the counter.

This iteration of the Cascadia Derby did not feel like a rivalry, especially from the Sounders’ side. There was no passion bar for a few players, and it showed. The play was lackluster and sloppy at many times in the match. There were a few times when they looked like the Sounders of old, but again, most of it was lackluster at best.

While it’s hardly a disastrous result for the Sounders — yes, they’re still third in the Western Conference by points per game — it still felt like a massive missed opportunity. Not only has the home winless streak against the Timbers now stretched to eight regular-season games, this was a chance to reignite a season that has lost virtually all its momentum. The Sounders sent a roaring crowd home, not just disappointed but completely uninspired. The mood surrounding the fanbase feels as in the mud as it did toward the end of last year. After another disappointing performance against the Timbers, I can hardly blame anyone.

This was the most damning thing I have heard come from Schmetz’s mouth:

“If you look at the season as a whole, 27 points, 54 probably gets you into the playoffs,” he said. “We’ve been hovering around first and second all season. Overall, I would say that the team has done well. We’re in a stretch here where the results could have been better ... But overall, I can’t be horribly upset.”

And we wonder why the team has no passion.

Final Thoughts

Cody Baker is HIM

Cody Baker has quickly risen through the tanks and has become a legitimate option at either fullback position for the Sounders. We saw him play in his natural position this last weekend, and he looked pretty fucking good if you ask me. I think he could be a better option than Alex Roldan. Who, let’s be honest, can’t really defend all that well.

Sounders fans have had the privilege of seeing some good young fullbacks develop and play at Lumen Field in DeAndre Yedlin and Nouhou. Those two were tactically unaware at young ages but relied on physical gifts, using their speed and strength to bail them out of situations. Baker has those same physical gifts, particularly his speed, but he doesn’t need to rely on them as much.

The so-called “Fortress.”

The Sounders end a three-match week at home with just four points. Suppose you include the previous two home matches; that’s just four points from five matches at home. What’s even more bizarre is that in the five home matches before that, the Sounders picked up 13 points thanks to four wins and a draw.

1.7 points per game at home isn’t going to cut it if the Sounders aspire to be an elite team. To make matters worse, they’ve already played over half of their home games. Just seven home matches are remaining between now and the end of the season.

WTF is our Attack?

We started the year seeing the Sounders play some of the most exciting attacking soccer they’ve ever played. Since the 3-0 win against St. Louis City on April 8, Seattle hasn’t scored more than one goal in a game. If you include that STL game, the Sounders have now gone 10 of their last 11 matches without scoring a first-half goal. Like, wtf is going on?

Overall, the Sounders have good underlying numbers, but they have to start making their luck sooner rather than later. They did no such thing against Portland.

Something Needs to Change

I remain objective when analyzing and writing about the Sounders, so this piece often comes out a day or two after a match. Even while trying to be as objective as possible, the Sounders are at a bit of a sliding doors moment in their season.

There have been a lot of excuses up to this point why the last two months of the season haven’t gone well. Most of those excuses make sense: they’ve been unlucky in front of the net and with injuries. However, Brian Schmetzer and the team stand at a moment where only they can define what happens next.

Is this another year where injuries and lousy luck define an otherwise promising season?

Or is this a season where things didn’t go as expected, but they were able to dig deep within themselves to provide a truly memorable year?

By definition, fans aren’t rational and don’t have to think about processes and tactics and all that jazz. Fans want results, and the Sounders must start delivering them soon.