Breaking the Goose

Every once in a while, Providence Park delivers a magical night. Those occurrences seemingly happen at random. It could be a high-stakes playoff game, or a chilly night in March. But, for whatever reason, magic seems to strike when Minnesota United comes to town.

Think back to the 2017 season opener. A 5-1 destruction of a Loons side that was playing in their first MLS game. Maybe it’s the 3-1 victory in the Wild Card round of the 2021 playoffs. Or a 3-2 win in 2024 that sent Dairon Asprilla onto his next chapter. Even last year’s 1-1 tie featured the largest tifo in MLS history and was punctuated by Omir Fernandez’s last second equalizer.

But in order to properly gain context for tonight’s game, we must travel back to 2022 for a Portland-Minnesota game in St. Paul. You might remember it. Sebastian Blanco scored after 14 seconds of the game had passed, and then added another in the 50th minute. Those goals gave Blanco a shot at the most hallowed mark in Timbers history: a MLS hat-trick.

Then, in the 65th minute, Blanco sent a ball towards the far post. Was it a cross? Was it a shot? It was heading on target. Then Kemar Lawrence decided to stick his foot out.

This ball doesn’t touch Lawrence’s foot. But it does go directly into the waiting arms of Dayne St. Clair, who bumbled it across the line. It was credited as Lawrence’s own goal. And until tonight, it was the closest a Portland Timber had ever come to scoring a hat trick in MLS play. 

Minnesota United, led by former Timber Cameron Knowles, made their last annual voyage to Providence Park tonight. When the schedule changes, and the new divisions are instituted, a home game against Minnesota won’t be guaranteed. So the Loons and the Timbers decided to celebrate Goose Hollow with a wildly entertaining, frustrating, and unbelievably dumb soccer game. The Timbers won 5-4. That gave Portland 3 crucial points in their race for the playoffs, but a more important trifecta was achieved by the Timbers tonight. Dutch striker Vincent Janssen, making his first start for the Timbers, tallied the 69th brace in Timbers history before halftime. By the time he left the pitch in the 68th minute, one more goal went into the back of the net courtesy of Janssen’s left foot. A third goal. A hat trick. The 16-year drought was finally over. 

Recap

Before Janssen’s feat could be achieved, the game had to start. And the Portland Timbers did not have a good start to tonight’s game.

Portland had to defend 3 Minnesota set pieces in the first 4 minutes. The second one saw Joaquin Pereyra send in a corner kick that met the head of Jefferson Diaz. James Pantemis’ cat-like reflexes pushed the ball over the bar. The third set piece went out of bounds, which resulted in a goal kick. And on this goal-kick, the Timbers nearly gave away the lead.

For whatever reason, the Timbers decided to keep Finn Surman and Kamal Miller back while sending the rest of the team forward. When the ball was passed short, Minnesota took the opportunity to press high. This resulted in a Pantemis suicide pass directly through the middle of the field. It was intercepted by Wil Trapp and put into the path of Pereyra.

You have got to be kidding me.

Pereyra waited for Surman to pressure him, which opened up an easy pass to Kelvin Yeboah to his left. Yeboah took a ferocious shot that Pantemis tipped off the bar. Despite their own best efforts to concede, the score remained 0-0. So it was only justified that Portland’s first dangerous attack of the night resulted in the first goal of the game.

In the 10th minute, Kristoffer Velde played a pass to Janssen in the box. As he shielded the ball from Minnesota’s Michael Boxall, Jimer Fory began a run into the space to Janssen’s right. The Dutch striker laid the ball off for Fory, who got a 1v1 chance with Drake Callender. Fory’s shot was saved by the diving American goalkeeper, but the rebound bounced directly to an onrushing Cole Bassett. Bassett got to the ball and got a touch in, but he was promptly chopped down by a two-footed Morris Duggan tackle. Referee Filip Dujic pointed directly to the penalty spot. You have to be careful when defending your own box, and there was no doubt about the veracity of this penalty call. It was clear as day.

For the second game in a row, the Timbers had a penalty kick. Velde went to the spot first, but gave Janssen the ball. Callender dove right, so Janssen went left. 1-0 Timbers, 11th minute.

Now the Timbers had to extend their lead. Leave it to Janssen to get back and help. He picked Pereyra’s pocket in the center circle and turned to find Ariel Lassiter. The Costa Rican winger strode forward and fired a laser of a shot towards the upper 90 at the near post. Callender dove but whiffed. However, the ball hit the bottom of the crossbar and bounced off of Callender into the roof of the net. In real time, it did not look like it took a touch off of Minnesota’s unfortunate goalkeeper, so this goal belongs to Lassiter. 2-0 Timbers, 20th minute.

That’s a great way to build a 2-0 lead. Two minutes later, they nearly increased it to 3. Velde found Bassett in plenty of space on the right side. The American midfielder carried the ball into the box and fired a low drive towards the far post. Callender dove and whiffed again, presenting a perfect opportunity for the player at the back post to have an easy tap-in. Except there wasn’t anyone at the back post. Fory had slowed his run, and the ball slid out for a goalkick. Disappointing. 

But the third goal wasn’t far away. In the 26th minute, Eric Miller played a pass into space down the right side for David Da Costa to run onto. Janssen made a run to split the center backs, and smashed home Portuguese Dave’s cutback cross to give Portland their treasured 3rd goal. With a 3-0 lead before the half-hour mark, it appeared that the Timbers would be cruising to victory. 

Da Costa nearly made it 4-0 in the 31st minute, but his curled attempt whistled wide of the far post. However, it took a slight deflection so a corner kick was awarded. Lassiter swung the corner kick into the box, but it was headed away by Diaz. That header fell to Velde at the top of the box, who hit a ferocious volley. Unfortunately, the shot slammed off the crossbar. A valiant effort, denied by the goal frame. Is this a good time to mention that the Timbers entered tonight’s game with 14 posted shots, which was tied for 2nd-most in the league? 

However, Minnesota was able to find a way back into the game. Pereyra drove forward in the right channel. Jose Caicedo stepped up to provide some pressure, but the Argentine playmaker slipped a pass towards Marcus Caldeira in the box. Kamal Miller slid to try and break up the pass, but he whiffed and the ball found its intended target. Pantemis squared up to try and stop the incoming shot. Unfortunately, he left too much space at the near post. That’s where Caldeira took a quick wind-up and buried the shot into the top corner. Portland’s lead was cut to 3-1 in the 32nd minute. They are still waiting for their second clean sheet of 2026. Based on the way the rest of this game went, it appears that this wait might stretch until the end of the season.

Because it became a 3-2 game in a near instant! In the 37th minute, Kamal Miller recovered a loose ball but wasn’t aware of the onrushing Yeboah coming from his blind side. The Italian striker raced in and took advantage of a heavy touch to seamlessly scoop up the ball and start charging down the right wing. Janssen was the player who tracked Yeboah to the endline, but the Dutchman couldn’t stop a low cutback cross from traveling across the box. That cutback found Anthony Markanich in a pocket of space. After a touch to settle, the Filipino wingback fired the ball past Pantemis at the near post. 3-2 Timbers, 37th minute. Another defensive disaster brought on by a poor turnover.

So let’s recap all 5 of these goals so far. A deserved penalty kick, a worldie that would enter the record books as an own goal, and a well-created and executed repeatable pattern of play pushed the Timbers to an early 3-0 lead. However, an easy carry through the middle and disguised slip pass led to a near-post finish to cut that lead, and a poor giveaway birthed a pretty routine counterattack. Whoever scored the next goal would have a huge advantage, but it wouldn’t come before halftime. Velde had another chance from distance in the 42nd minute, but he hit the crossbar again. 

But Minnesota was able to create a better chance before the break. Pereyra carried the ball into the box in the 43rd minute, but his shot was blocked. This allowed the ball to fly straight up into the air. A flick header put the ball into Yeboah’s path, but Pantemis decisively came off his line to smother the shot as Yeboah was taking it. That was the last major action of the first half, and it put the impetus on Portland to come out on the front foot and try to re-extend their lead when the second period of play began.

Instead of coming out on the front foot and controlling the game, the Timbers decided to gift the Loons an equalizer. I am not exaggerating when I say that this might be the ugliest goal that the Timbers have conceded in their entire MLS history. It certainly is the ugliest in the 2020s though. I can’t even describe it. Only the video can tell the truth.

I do not understand how three players who have started so many games together with no language barrier combine to make this mistake. Surman and Kamal Miller yield for Pantemis, but Pantemis doesn’t call them off. Miller begins to trail away to the outside so Pantemis has enough space to dive for the ball, which opens the way for Pereyra to run directly towards the loose ball. Surman should be putting his foot through it, but Pantemis’ arrival creates the illusion that the Canadian goalkeeper can get to the ball. All three players make humongous errors here. Miller’s error is not impeding Pereyra, Surman’s error is not booting the ball into the club seats, and Pantemis’ error revolves around a lack of communication with his defenders. Pereyra gets to the loose ball, squares it to Caldeira, and the Canadian striker tallies a brace. Now it’s 3-3 in the 50th minute. For the second week in a row, the Loons have come back from a multi-goal deficit. On paper, this one was more impressive. But the conditions for this comeback were created by a Timbers team that cannot stop shooting themselves in the foot. If this simple combination of errors cannot be avoided, then what can? Will the Timbers continue to leak goals from elementary causes? They’ve been doing it all year! Can it ever be fixed? Seriously? 

Four former Timber defenders were in the stadium tonight. Cameron Knowles celebrated this goal as Minnesota’s head coach. Zarek Valentin is one of his top assistants. Ross Smith and Aaron Heinzen looked on in horror from the broadcast booth. An utter defensive catastrophe had unfolded in front of four men who used to defend this exact field with ferocity and vigor. Now they stood in their various spots watching a 3-goal lead completely evaporate due to Portland’s effervescent ability to find ways to beat themselves. What a disaster.

A stadium that was rocking and rolling before the half-hour mark has now fallen deathly silent. It appeared that the Timbers were well on their way to dropping more points at home. After all, blowing a 3-goal lead in 20 minutes of game time isn’t usually done by a team that deserves to get a result from a game. However, because there were still 40 minutes plus stoppage time remaining, the Timbers could make the memory of a blown 3-goal lead fade rather quickly. It would have to take a moment of serious quality, or perhaps a long-awaited release. How about both of those criteria combined into one?

It nearly happened in the 52nd minute. While Ross Smith continued to mutter in disbelief about Minnesota’s equalizer, Da Costa sent a corner kick towards Bassett at the near post, and a flick-on header fell to Janssen in the six-yard box. However, his header drifted wide of the near post. But everything changed in the 55th minute.

Referee Filip Dujic deserves some credit here. In about 20 minutes, he’s going to make a decision that will earn the ire of every fan in attendance. But right now, he is about to give a crucial advantage. Michael Boxall carried the ball forward and tried to find Caldeira. Kamal Miller got in the way to intercept, and Boxall’s trailing leg caught Miller mid-step, causing the Canadian center back to tumble over. Dujic opts to play advantage. 

In hindsight, this is a very conflicting call. Boxall was already on a yellow, and this challenge is a clear-as-day second yellow card. However, this would immediately bring play to a halt. You can’t give an advantage on a red card foul, contrary to what Lukasz Szpala would espouse after the Asterisk. So Dujic is making a gigantic gamble on this play. The Portland Timbers would have to score a goal. Not just any goal. A goal so special that it would cause everyone in attendance to immediately forget Boxall’s challenge.

Janssen picks up the loose ball in the center circle. He immediately finds Bassett to his right. One touch to settle, and another one to spray a pass for Lassiter on the right wing. The Costa Rican winger cuts inside, which sets up an opportunity for him to have another crack from distance. But it’s a different scenario now. When Lassiter scored his wonderstrike in the first half, he was the farthest player forward. As he carries this ball into zone 14, he has three players in front of him. 

Bassett has continued his run, but he’s offside. Velde has room at the far post, but it would take a risky pass that would require precise execution to turn into a goal. Dujic needs Lassiter’s pass to find the right person. So does everyone in the stadium. There’s only one place for this pass to go. 

Vincent Janssen knows where this pass is going to go. Lassiter isn’t even looking at him. “I knew he was able to play me that ball.” The Dutch striker prepares himself. Lassiter’s pass is coming right to him. 

It’s the best chance a Portland Timber has had to score a hat trick since the last Timber to wear #14 had the ball in his hands and placed it on the penalty spot two years ago against Nashville. Refereeing nonsense ruined that opportunity. Dujic could have done the same. The doors were open, and it’s up to Janssen to bust through them.

Janssen receives the pass in between two Minnesota defenders. With his first touch, he drags the ball in a circle with his right foot to put it between himself and the goal. Diaz is the defender on Janssen’s left. He’s rapidly closing the space down. The Dutch striker’s next touch has to be a shot. He describes himself as two-footed, but his penalty kick was taken with his left. The ball settles on the left side of his body as his left leg winds up. Generating a ton of power from this situation is very hard. He’s leaning back slightly. And as he takes this shot, his momentum is taking him towards the ground. The ball travels through the air, with the stadium holding its breath.

He’s placed it perfectly towards the far post. It has enough power to beat Callender. The American goalkeeper dives and gets a hand to it. It isn’t enough. The ball is still going forward. And it nestles into the far corner. In a near instant, Janssen is on his feet. He has done it. Brace number 69 doesn’t exist anymore. It has become Portland’s first MLS hat trick, and it has given the Timbers a crucial 4-3 lead in the 55th minute.

This one-goal lead isn’t safe. Not with the way that the Timbers defend. So another goal is absolutely necessary to secure some form of comfort, and hopefully a victory too. In the 71st minute, Surman clears a cross with his head. A footrace begins, and soon the Timbers are off to the races again.

That footrace is between Antony (one of, if not THE, fastest players on the pitch) and Duggan. Antony gets to the ball first and knocks it into space ahead of him. The Brazilian winger embarks on a run that goes from box-to-box in 9 seconds. He has an angle to shoot, but it’s not very good. So he decides to share the wealth. Antony plays a cross through the box to Velde on the other side. Da Costa does his part by dummying the ball to draw the attention of Minnesota’s defenders. Velde receives the ball, cuts it inside, and beats Callender with a left-footed finish at the near post and a helpful deflection. 5-3 Portland, 71st minute.

This is where the Timbers start to take their foot off the gas a little bit. It almost bites them in the ass earlier than expected. In the 78th minute, Markanich found an unmarked Tomas Chancalay in the box. Chancalay’s free header went wide of the near post. But the Loons did have one more goal left in them. In the second minute of second-half stoppage time, Carlos Harvey hit a long ball for Chancalay in the box. The Argentine forward opts for a volley, and his toe-poked volley beats Pantemis at the near post. Suddenly it’s 5-4. 

Two minutes later, Chancalay tried to turn provider with a looping cross towards the back post. Kyle Duncan got on the end of it, but his header went out of bounds at the near post. One minute after Duncan’s miss, Duggan sent a cross into the box. Duncan met it with another header, but it was to a teammate instead of the ad boards. That teammate was Mauricio Gonzalez, who suddenly had space just outside the six yard box. But the angle was tough, and Gonzalez couldn’t get his feet right. He flubbed the finish, and the Timbers had another goalkick. One minute after that, Diego Chara intercepted another cross and carried the ball out of the box. This would draw a foul from Duggan, and a deserved yellow card for the former draft pick. The danger didn’t pass until the final whistle blew. The Timbers scored five goals, three of which came from Janssen. But they also allowed four goals, each of them various degrees of avoidable. But all that mattered were two things: 3 Janssen goals and 3 humongous points.

Appalling Defending

Why are these three points so crucial? Because the Portland Timbers cannot defend to save their lives.

One of the multitudes of criticisms leveled at the Timbers (in general) is their tendency to be reactive more than proactive. This is a criticism that can be applied to the recently concluded summer transfer window, where the Timbers left it late to get some key deals across the line. But it also applies to the way that the Timbers defend, which hasn’t changed across multiple eras of coaches. 

The “plus-one” rule is contributing to the first “back-six” I have ever seen on a soccer pitch. Five Minnesota attackers are positioned on the edge of the penalty area, so an extra Timber has to drop in to provide a numerical advantage. Sure, it ends up working here, but it’s a very good picture of Portland’s reactivity when they don’t have the ball. In order for this defense to become playoff-worthy and eventually trophy-worthy (which it absolutely isn’t at the current moment), they have to become more proactive. Thankfully, Marti Cifuentes is intent on making that a reality.

There is one obvious way for the Timbers to ratchet up the proactivity meter: counterpressing. For months upon months (even years upon years, if you want to go back that far) the Timbers’ defensive identity has been built around dropping their lines. When the lines drop, space gradually opens behind the opposition to counterattack into. That’s the space that previous versions of the Timbers desperately needed. But Cifuentes wants this team to turn their turnovers into instant regains. They’ll have to properly counterpress in order to make that happen.

All of Minnesota’s goals tonight occurred due to some kind of Timbers defensive error. First goal? Caicedo stepped up to pressure, not actually providing any pressure, which opened the passing lane for Pereyra to find Caldeira. Kamal Miller missed the interception, and Caldeira had a 1v1 with Pantemis. The shot beats Pantemis at the near post. The second goal? Miller turns right into Yeboah’s pressure, the entire line drops way too deep, and Markanich is unmarked when he receives the cross. Pantemis is beaten at his near post again. The third goal? Miller doesn’t shield Pereyra, Surman doesn’t clear the ball, and Pantemis doesn’t communicate effectively while coming off his line. The fourth goal? Harvey’s long ball is executed with zero pressure and Pantemis gets beaten at the near post again. And the Loons left plenty of goals on the table tonight! Their execution let them down, just like the Timbers. Portland’s execution errors on the defensive end will continue to doom them. And it’s on Cifuentes to get them on the same page.

Cut out the turnovers. Provide actual pressure to opposing players. Work just as hard to win the ball back as you do to keep it. Be ruthless and make opposing players work to move the ball. Portland’s floor continues to be handicapped by a defense that can concede at any time, from any scenario. At least they didn’t allow a set piece goal tonight. But considering the disastrous nature of their other concessions, maybe one set piece goal could have been excusable. 

That’s how low the bar is. 1 clean sheet in 26 matches across all competitions is completely unacceptable. Atlanta is the only other MLS team with 1 clean sheet this year. SKC hasn’t even recorded one. Both of those teams are Wooden Spoon contenders. Any playoff aspirations will live or die with the defense.

Ruthless Attacking

The Portland Timbers scored 5 goals from 5 shots on target tonight. However, Callender was able to make a save. How is this possible?

Because Lassiter’s goal was stupidly awarded as an own goal. Fory’s 10th minute shot was the only save that Callender made all game. Like Minnesota, the Timbers left chances on the table. Was this their most efficient game of the season?

I think the answer to that question is an easy “yes.” Portland did a great job of creating big chances, and now they have to do it more consistently. “Scoring 5 goals is really great. I think we could do that every game,” Lassiter said after the game. I think he’s right, especially when the attacking group is playing with decisiveness. But it was a huge shift from last weekend against Austin to tonight against Minnesota. I think the middle ground is between these two attacking extremes. 

Box Tilt/Duels

We’re going to start with duels, because here’s proof of concept for the solutions to the defending woes.

Minnesota is a team of bastards. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. They’re big, brutish, and want to bully opposition players all over the pitch. And the Timbers dominated them on 50/50s tonight. This is a very good sign of Portland’s ability to counterpress. Standouts include Janssen (8/13 duels won), Cole Bassett (7/11), Antony (5/8), and Jimer Fory (5/6). All that matters is getting in the correct position to contest a duel. Counterpressing should encourage that!

The box tilt numbers are less encouraging. Minnesota won the box tilt battle 33-23. Their late surge for a 5th goal was signified by multiple invasions of Portland’s box. I think game state has a pretty big effect on this stat, but the Timbers should be better at getting into dangerous areas.

Player Ratings

James Pantemis: 4

For the first time in a long time, Pantemis has a share of the blame in all of Portland’s concessions. Some of them are somewhat minor (like Minnesota’s 4th goal) while others were so catastrophic that it necessitated a re-think of sorts (Minnesota’s 3rd goal). It was a bad passing day for him as well. The early goalkick he gave away down the middle would have been punished by a better team, and only a fingertip save prevented the Loons from grabbing an early lead.

The last two games have been pretty rough for Pantemis. His contract expires at the end of the season, and he’s going to need a big bounce-back on Wednesday against St. Louis.

Eric Miller: 8

There is no question about it. Eric Miller was far and away the best defender in a Timbers shirt tonight.

I was overjoyed with his secondary assist on Janssen’s second goal. There have been times where he would take the more conservative option, but it was a breath of fresh air to see a purposeful progressive pass into space. And it paid off, too! He made 4 recoveries and 1 tackle on the defensive end. Despite being asked to get into more attacking areas, I think he balanced those forays into Minnesota’s half with responsible defensive positioning. Performances like this really enforce my personal belief that Ronald Hernandez won’t instantly assume the starting job. 

Finn Surman: 5.5

This rating does not take the banana pizza into account.

For the record, Surman believes that the bananas should cover the pizza so you get some banana in every bite. Would I go out of my way to order it? No, mostly because I’d get some stares from the employees of whichever pizza shop I frequent. But if it was offered to me, I probably wouldn’t say no. I think that can count as a victory for the banana pizza. Surman really decided to die on the banana pizza hill. He still swears by it. I wonder how many people who tried the pizza agree with him.

Here’s one thing that everyone can agree on: Surman had a rough outing tonight. He got beat on the dribble several times and he had a major error on Minnesota’s third goal. In addition, he picked up a yellow card, which never happens. However, I thought that he didn’t deserve that yellow, as Markanich was grabbing him while on the ground and impeding Surman’s ability to chase the play. His passing was a bright spot though. Although more mistakes have been creeping into his game following the World Cup, performances like tonight’s remain a rarity.

Kamal Miller: 5

Miller made more errors than Surman, including assuming direct fault for Minnesota’s second goal. Like Surman, I expect him to bounce back. He was already able to bounce back from some of those errors during this game. Three minutes after Janssen secured his hat trick, the Canadian defender made a humongous tackle on Caldeira to nullify a potential Minnesota equalizer. It can be pretty easy to overreact to a bad performance, so let’s see how he bounces back against St. Louis.

He’ll be able to play against St. Louis because he managed to avoid a booking tonight and is no longer on a yellow card warning. That’s some good news. 

Jimer Fory: 6

Fory’s game was plagued by miscommunications. I counted a few with Velde and a couple with Ortiz. However, I thought he covered ground pretty well and definitely grew into the game after a pretty rough start. Cifuentes’ system relies on the fullbacks covering a ton of ground, and sometimes his advanced positioning would compound Portland’s defensive struggles (Minnesota’s second goal). In addition, I think he needs to bury that chance in the 10th minute. It worked out because Janssen was able to score a penalty and begin his quest towards immortality, but Fory should be scoring that 8 times out of 10. It was a really good run to occupy the space though!

Jose Caicedo: 7.4

It really sucks that Caicedo was subbed out in the 38th minute with a groin injury.

There are two ways to look at it. First of all, he’s struggled at the start of recent games. He looked like he was ready to play from the opening whistle tonight. The Colombian midfielder was tidy in possession and provided the solidity for the Timbers to jump out to an early 3-0 lead. However, he did make a slight error on Minnesota’s first goal. But he can’t be blamed for what came after it because he wasn’t on the field. Before he got subbed off, he was twisting and turning through Minnesota’s pressure and making smart decisions with the ball at his feet.

Which is why this injury is very worrying. Caicedo has become a very important player for Cifuentes, who lets him run the show at the base of the midfield. Any extended absence could be a major blow. “We need to leave the medical team to work and see how he feels in the next 24-48 hours,” Cifuentes said after the game. For the record, he was all smiles after the final whistle and even hoisted a log slice. I don’t know how much to read into that because he’s just a happy guy in general. 

Cole Bassett: 8.5

Two subpar outings against LAFC and Austin necessitated a quality Bassett performance in tonight’s game. He passed with flying colors.

Bassett excels at two important facets of the game: transitioning from defense to attack and opening up space in the final third through unselfish running. His proficiency at both stood out tonight. He received plenty of passes on the half-turn and kept the ball moving quickly. His run opened up the space for Janssen on the hat-trick goal. In addition, he won the penalty by eating a really rough tackle from Duggan. He should’ve had an assist in the 22nd minute if Fory properly crashed the back post.

Although Bassett didn’t fill up the defensive stat sheet, his duel numbers are very encouraging. He can be one of Portland’s top counterpressers when the entire team gets on the same page with Cifuentes’ desired defensive identity. Bassett played a full 90 for the first time since the Club America game. A quality shift in all phases of the game. Excellent.

David Da Costa: 8.7

It’s very annoying that Da Costa isn’t credited with a lot of defensive actions. He was excellent off the ball today. My notes have 3 tackles, 3 interceptions, and a really good tackle that resulted in a bewildering foul call in the 53rd minute. I was really impressed with his off-ball work.

Portuguese Dave has 2g/1a in the last 4 games. I think it’s really interesting whenever he pops up on the right side of the field. Since he’s usually on the left, his shifts to the right usually pay off with more goal contributions. Think of Santiago Moreno’s goal against Seattle last year. Da Costa was on the right, beat a defender and slid a perfect cutback into the box for Moreno to smash home. Janssen’s second goal tonight was nearly a carbon copy, with a higher tempo being the main difference.

Da Costa slid into the false 9 role once Janssen got subbed off, and did pretty well. I think he’ll get some more minutes in that position over the remainder of the season. 

I have one more notable nugget from this game before I talk about Da Costa’s substitution. He was taking the left-sided corner kicks tonight instead of Velde. I really like that change, because it allows Velde to win second balls at the top of the box and force defenders to keep an eye on him. This strategy nearly paid off with the first of Velde’s crossbars, which was volleyed from a cleared corner. Lassiter remains responsible for the right-sided corners, and I hope Da Costa gets to reprise that role on Wednesday.

However, he went down after Velde’s goal and seemed to struggle through the final 10 minutes of his shift. I hope whatever knock he picked up isn’t too serious. Stay tuned for updates from training this week.

Ariel Lassiter: 9

“I really think they need to give me that goal. That was a robbery.”

Lassiter is a true professional whose effort can never be questioned. However, I noticed that he seemed to be playing with a bit of an extra chip on his shoulder tonight. And it showed. Janssen encouraged him to take that shot, so he did. What followed was an absolute bullet that found its way into the back of the net. Give him the goal. Seriously.

Despite the world-class strike, his determination shone through in his post-game presser. “We have to be solid defensively. We all know that it’s not good enough.” Lassiter definitely was good enough today, and he added to his tendency to tally very important assists. It was his cross that Gage Guerra headed home against San Diego in the playoffs last year. Now he’s the first Timber to assist a league hat trick as well. 

Kristoffer Velde: 9

I mentioned earlier that Filip Dujic was going to find a way to make an enemy out of the fans in attendance. A 74th-minute incident between Velde and Jefferson Diaz is the reason why.

Velde receives a pass and gets tackled from behind by Diaz. That’s a pretty straight-forward yellow card. While Velde is on the ground, Diaz swings his arm at the Norwegian winger. The contact is negligible, but there was definitely intent in the swipe. I’d classify it as “violent conduct” and send Diaz to the locker room. But no review was initiated, so Diaz would get booed for the remainder of the game whenever he got on the ball.

Most of Velde’s damage had been done by this point. He took 3 shots in this game. Two of them smashed off the crossbar and the third ended up in the back of the net. In theory, he could’ve had a hat trick if two of those finishes dipped ever so slightly. But the team got the win, and he got what ended up being the game-winning goal. He also took home a goose in his likeness after the final whistle, with the “terrible haircut” being his only objection. 

This is the type of supernova game that Velde can have without being the focal point of Portland’s attack. Almost everything ran through Janssen, which allowed Velde to be a dangerous off-ball threat and gave him more space to operate in. An excellent performance from #99, and a big bounce back from Austin.

VINCENT JANSSEN: 1,000,000

I have no idea where to start.

Just kidding! When a drought is established, everyone begins to wonder what will break it. For most sports teams, their droughts revolve around winning a title. Individual achievements aren’t at the top of the list in team sports. Sure, it can be fun watching Aaron Judge and Cal Raleigh hit 60 home runs and give the Steroid Era mashers a run for their money. But that’s baseball, where only one player stands in the batter’s box at a time. The quest for the first Timber MLS hat trick was taken up by several celebrated players from years past. Fanendo Adi, Diego Valeri, Sebastian Blanco, Brian Fernandez, Jaroslaw Niezgoda, Jeremy Ebobisse, Felipe Mora, and quite a few others. Vincent Janssen decided that it would only take one game for one of the most frustrating streaks to be broken. In the 522nd game of Portland’s MLS history, Janssen went out and did the damn thing. And dear GOD, did he deserve it.

So many things had to align perfectly for each of the three goals to hit the back of the net. Fory had to miss his early chance, and Bassett had to get cleaned out by Duggan. Velde had to cede the penalty to Janssen. I’m not going to go down the rabbit hole on all of the occurrences that led to Janssen etching his name in Portland immortality. But a hat trick cannot be accomplished alone. When Joshua Baez stepped up to the plate on his major league debut and hit three home runs in his first three at-bats, he was in full control of the situation. Janssen had to rely on the contributions of his teammates for his remarkable feat. The common picture of a striker is one of selfishness. They are the goalscorers, they demand the ball, and their other contributions can be limited because their job is to stay up high and put the ball in the net. Would you like to see Janssen’s heatmap from tonight’s game?

Even without the hat-trick, his match rating would’ve been very high. He excelled in hold-up play, often forcing Minnesota defenders to resort to shirt-pulling and outright tackling to get him off the ball. He should be credited with an assist on Lassiter’s goal, counting the pass and his verbal encouragement to shoot. Another assist was waiting for him if Fory’s chance wasn’t saved by Callender. 

But those extra-curriculars pale in comparison to a herculean defensive effort. That red card failed to curb his innate desire to help the team in any way possible. It was his tackle that initially set up Lassiter’s goal, and he would even track back all the way to his own box if the situation called for it. In doing so, he set an example for the entire team. If every Timber on the pitch played with Janssen’s defensive ferocity, they would’ve kept a clean sheet.

Someone else was going to ask him about the hat trick. I had to know about the defense. Here’s what Janssen had to say about his defensive masterclass:

“That’s kind of the player I am. I want to be helping everyone on the pitch with my defensive work. Defense always starts with the forwards and I think that’s one of my things. I will never let my defenders down by not tracking back or by not giving them the full pressure. And if I do, that’s absolutely on me and I’ll take responsibility for that. Every game I can help the team by pressing the center backs, tracking back, trying to recover some balls. That’s what I want to do, that’s how I want to help the team and I’m always going to give my full effort. So you can never, never blame me for that. I will keep doing that and that’s how I want to help the team. That’s the way I’ve always played. Sometimes you take two yellow cards in a few minutes. That’s the other part about it. I think I have too many yellow cards in my career, but that’s just the way how I play.”

Vincent Janssen has played in 349 senior matches over his professional career. He has been booked 73 times. That’s a rate of 1 yellow card about every 5 matches. “I just feel like I had to make up for my red card,” he said after the game. Consider that debt (which was pretty non-existent) repaid.

The sale of Kevin Kelsy caused some concern within the fanbase. I would be lying if I didn’t share some of that concern, but mostly only pertaining to the number of strikers on the roster. If Da Costa and Velde can deputize up top, that’s fine by me. Janssen, meanwhile, is still working up to full match fitness. He knew that he wasn’t going to get a ton of time tonight, which is why he hurried up and got the hat trick before the inevitable substitution. Admirable work. He’s a Timber legend now. That’s what happens when the mythical hat trick duck, uh, loon, uh, goose is broken. Congratulations to Vinny. Here’s to many more goals in green and gold.

Joao Ortiz: 8

There is one Ortiz moment that stands out to me above all of his excellent work. During the Velde-Diaz incident, the Ecuadorian midfielder was the first Portland player to get in Diaz’s face. The rest of the team quickly followed suit and filled their roles in the brief rhubarb that developed. But this was a team that not even a year ago stood up for Omir Fernandez after he got cleated from behind by Albert Rusnak in a rivalry game. It’s good to see Timbers players stand up for each other again.

Cifuentes sees Ortiz as a hybrid between a 6 and an 8, and tonight was his first chance to run the show from deeper in midfield. Some slight alterations were made between his role and Caicedo’s though. Did you know that Ortiz and Caicedo finished tonight’s game with the same amount of touches? Both players had 36! Yet both players finished the night with only 1 incomplete pass each and similar duel win rates. Ortiz had 2 tackles, 1 interception, 1 clearance, and 5 recoveries. Despite not being involved as much as Caicedo, I was very impressed with Ortiz’s contributions in a slightly adjusted role. He only played as a true 6 for about a half hour, but he made his most impactful play of the game during that period. In the 45th minute, he single-handedly kept Yeboah from breaking into the box with some heavy ball pressure forcing the Italian striker to dribble out of bounds for a Portland goal-kick. “I thought he played well, and I’m very happy with Joao since I arrived,” Cifuentes said post-game. Tonight was a big test for him, and he certainly passed.

Diego Chara: 7.5

The club captain completed all 12 of his passes and won the crucial foul in second-half stoppage time to help kill the game off. He missed the last two games with an injury, and Cifuentes didn’t want to take a serious risk with the Colombian’s fitness. A sound decision. 

Antony: 8.5

I think he’s got his confidence back.

After scoring the equalizing penalty against Austin last weekend, Antony was all smiles in training this week. If he took a shot and missed it, he didn’t droop his head or act frustrated. It felt like a serious weight was lifted off his shoulders. Do you know what’s really good about being a fast player and getting weight off your back? You can run even faster!

From box to box in 9 seconds with the ball at his feet to deliver a cross that turned into Portland’s 5th goal and restored a precious 2-goal lead. These types of game-breaking plays are exactly why Antony is on this team. When he’s utilized as a supersub, his superpowers increase. Tonight’s win would not have been possible without his contributions. Awesome.

Ian Smith: 7

Smith subbed on in the 81st minute for Da Costa and took up a spot on the left wing. I thought he did pretty well overall. The choice to play him farther up the pitch was pretty shrewd considering his good chemistry with Velde. Maybe he’ll get more minutes as a winger given Portland’s current lack of considerable winger depth.

Joel Waterman: Debut!

I thought Waterman handled himself pretty well in his debut. He wasn’t afraid to get stuck in (illustrated by an 84th minute sequence against Gonzalez) and he tried to play downfield passes to relieve pressure. I could potentially see him starting at right back, but Cifuentes seems to view him as a center back or defensive midfielder. I’m happy that his first Providence Park experience culminated in a Timbers hat trick. Some of us have been waiting a long time for that, you know. He got to see it right away!

Coach Rating: 7.5

These sections are becoming kind of boring. Isn’t it wonderful? Cifuentes wasn’t expecting Minnesota to press so high on goalkicks, so he made an adjustment at halftime. That wasn’t the only thing that the coaching staff was looking at during halftime. “The second part was how we could connect with Vinny even better because I think it created a lot of problems in their man-to-man marking.” I think the team’s connections with Janssen are going to provide a solid attacking floor for the rest of the season. Hold-up play was pretty absent during the Austin game, and Janssen’s ability to keep the ball under pressure allowed the Timbers to attack at will.

But the defense is still a major worry. In terms of systemic issues, I believe that the Timbers are still going to have trouble with long balls and needless giveaways for the foreseeable future. The players just need to get on the same page and understand where their teammates are going to be. Progress is already being made on that front (Lassiter’s assist to Janssen is a prime example) but that progress is also occurring farther up the pitch, where turnovers aren’t as costly. 

Cifuentes was also impressed with the fortitude of his team. “I’m happy that they kept believing, kept trying, because when you are 3-0 up and then after 20 minutes you lose that lead, then that is very disappointing. But we still managed, and that’s why I want to take the good parts from today’s game.”

I hope that his focus on the good parts can help fix the bad ones. Although Cifuentes admitted that he’d rather win a game 5-4 than 1-0, those types of scorelines are unsustainable. A team that keeps defending like this is going to be hard-pressed to keep their heads above the water in the playoff race.

Table Time

The Portland Timbers are back above the playoff line! A lot of results went their way this weekend, highlighted by a Colorado loss in Columbus and a San Diego loss in Orlando. RSL and LAFC battled for a 2-2 draw at Rio Tinto, while the Galaxy snagged a win at home against red-hot New England.

CONGRATULATIONS to the Seattle Sounders, whose MLS winless streak has increased to a whopping 11 games! It appears that the “add striker to fix the goalscoring” gambit was just as dumb and panicked as initially thought! At least they’ve been stringing some draws together in the meantime. Wait, you’re telling me that this latest game was a scoreless draw at home against the famously defensively challenged New York Red Bulls? And that this draw has dropped them to 13th place in the West, 4 points behind the Timbers? AND I’ve just been informed that Albert Rusnak is telling reporters after the game that playoff qualification is the primary goal given how sideways their season has gone? What a shame. Truly, what a shame. They are getting healthier though. But those healed players still comprise of “Jordan Morris” and “Paul Arriola.” 

Only two teams above the Timbers in the table managed to win a game this weekend. The first was Dallas, who checked the free space on the bingo card with a 4-3 win against SKC at the newly renovated Toyota Stadium in Frisco. The Timbers will get their opportunity to check out the new east side of Los Toreros’ home on Saturday. It’s also worth noting that Dallas fell behind 2-0, clawed their way to a 3-2 halftime lead, and then allowed a 78th minute equalizer before Petar Musa sank a game-winning penalty kick in the 7th minute of second-half stoppage time. Alarm bells should be ringing for any team that needs that much help to defeat 2026 Sporting Kansas City.

However, the alarm bells are quickly being focused on the Timbers when the other victorious team gets mentioned. St. Louis extended their unbeaten streak to 14 games across all competitions (13 in MLS play) with a very good 3-1 win on BC Place’s horrendous new surface. That’s the best result achieved by any team across the entire league this weekend. The Raviolis travel to Portland on Wednesday. They are 6 points ahead of the Timbers. So now the question must be posed: did the Timbers gain any momentum from tonight’s wild win?

Final Whistle

I hope so. In typical Timbers fashion, they nearly blew a game that featured a moment that fans have been waiting to see for 16 years. And now it’s time to reflect on a question that has likewise been percolating since this drought reached unimaginable lengths: “The Portland Timbers finally have a MLS hat trick. What happens now?”

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. The milestone is ticked off, and Vincent Janssen will get his name etched into the history books. But guess what? The fun isn’t over! Now we get to wait for the next one! Hopefully it won’t take another 16 years. It can’t, right? IT CAN’T, RIGHT????

Goose Hollow Night will now go down in the annals of Timbers lore. While fans entered the stadium and began their goose scavenger hunts, the Timbers took to the field in the Civic Stadium Kit and created a moment that will hopefully define the jersey. I try to stay away from kit talk except for new releases, but I do enjoy whenever an event occurs that can characterize a uniform.

Let’s talk about the Rose Kit for a second. Some people love it, and some people despise it. There really isn’t a middle ground when it comes to this somewhat controversial uniform. However, I maintain that the controversy surrounding the Rose Kit is purely due to simple uniform mistakes. It was designed to be worn with dark red shorts, and it was primarily used with white shorts.

Those dark red shorts made the uniform that provided a timeless 3-0 victory in Seattle, a Yimmi Chara opening night bicycle kick (or chilena, if you want to get technical) and Nathan Fogaca’s coming out party in a 7-2 demolition of SKC (another time when a player had a hat trick within touching distance). Even the inferior version gifted Dairon Asprilla’s bicycle kick against Seattle and Franck Boli’s memorable debut blockbuster in Dallas. The ugly chevron kit (still my least favorite green Timbers jersey) won a goddamn MLS Cup, for God’s sake.

However, the recent offerings have been synonymous with failure. I wasn’t a gigantic fan of the Plaid Kit, but it was pretty inoffensive. It was last worn when Vancouver demolished the Timbers 5-0 in the Wild Card Game. The Nature Unites Kit’s farewell match was last season’s surrender in the playoffs against San Diego. For a club like the Timbers, whose jerseys consistently rank in the upper echelon of MLS offerings, these shirts need to mean something. More than just the language that the designer provides. Something that attaches a memory to a piece of clothing that represents the club you love.

Like the Rose Kit, the Civic Stadium Kit became controversial for a number of reasons. Some didn’t like the color, likening it to urine. Others didn’t like the design. I have liked this uniform since it was released ahead of this current season; Providence Park’s 100th birthday. For the first hat trick to occur while wearing this jersey in this stadium on Goose Hollow Night is a perfect coincidence. Almost too perfect. It was destined to happen. And I didn’t see it coming. They can’t stop telling stories. Now the Civic Stadium Kit is the hat-trick kit. It will always be the hat-trick kit. I don’t like it when the Timbers aren’t wearing green at home. Tonight serves as the lone exception.

And you know what else makes tonight a perfect Portland Timbers game? The hat trick was finally achieved, yet the Timbers nearly found a way to drop points in the meantime. Janssen’s 3rd goal was the biggest shot of momentum that the Timbers could have used after Minnesota’s equalizer sapped the energy out of the building. You couldn’t ask for a more perfect response. There was only one thing that could’ve turned the energy levels all the way back up. 

The Timbers are really going to need every ounce of momentum that this game could provide. Breaking a duck (goose) like this should come with a boatload of momentum. It will instantly be tested when the hottest team in MLS comes to Providence Park on Wednesday. The struggles aren’t over after that, either. The annual trip to Dallas is next weekend. Two outrageously important games, with results needed in both. The climb never gets easier, folks.

With another legendary Providence Park night in the bag, the Portland Timbers have bounced back (somewhat) from last weekend’s disappointing defeat. Now the work must continue in order for the Timbers to maintain their playoff credentials. Although the Western Conference remains a gigantic mudfight, the Timbers must prove that they can clean themselves off. A game like tonight reminds everyone that great things can happen even with a healthy coating of mud. The showers beckon. So does the rest of the mountain. One of those peaks has finally been summited. It’s not one of the most prominent mountains, but it’s certainly satisfying to finally climb it. Now the highest points await Portland’s group of mountaineers. The climb continues.