The Final Straw
The Portland Timbers have finally done it. After months of asking for some semblance of consistency, they’ve finally been able to deliver. A clear pattern has emerged, with another one already present. Finally, the consternation and frustration of the fanbase can be firmly put to bed.
In an ironic twist, the Portland Timbers did accomplish something in their quest to find consistency. Unfortunately for them (and the viewing audience), it wasn’t something to be proud of. Entering today’s game in Salt Lake City, Portland had won 3 out of 9 games so far in 2026. Each of those games featured a late winner, which would ordinarily provide some semblance of momentum to take into the next match. Last weekend’s win in San Diego gave the Timbers a third opportunity to carry some momentum. After their two previous wins, the Timbers went on the road and got their pants pulled down; losing 2-0 in both. A spanking in Colorado was first, and then a thrashing in Minnesota followed. For once, the wider audience was begging the Timbers not to be consistent.
The Timbers did not oblige. Instead of trying to avoid humiliation, they plunged headfirst into another road defeat. Today’s 2-0 defeat was an utter lashing, and it was worse than the previous two by a mile.
Recap
Color commentator Brian Dunseth said that this game was over from the moment both teams exited the tunnel. It certainly felt that way after RSL made their first box invasion before a full minute of game time had passed. The Timbers started the game with a long ball straight from the kickoff that turned into a RSL throw-in. The game was over immediately.
That’s because the Timbers tried to press! RSL didn’t have to work hard to break that press, and James Pantemis was forced into his first action of the day seconds later. FROM THAT MOMENT, it was clear that the Timbers would lose. It took ONE MINUTE of game time to illustrate that the Timbers were poorly set up and would be lucky to escape with a draw.
RSL worked the ball around the top of the box in the 5th minute before Diego Luna sent a laser of a shot towards Pantemis’ right post. The Canadian goalkeeper parried it away. RSL took the lead 5 minutes later.
When you’ve observed this league for a while, you know what RSL’s identity is: physicality. Sergi Solans, a rookie fresh out of UCLA, utilized that physicality when Juanma Sanabria played a long ball in his direction in the 10th minute. Solans got on the right side of Alex Bonetig, and then took the time to pick his head up and notice a wide-open Zavier Gozo on his right side. It didn’t take a genius to calmly roll the ball in Gozo’s direction.
This is where Jimer Fory was when Solans passed the ball.
This is where Jimer Fory was when Gozo shoots the ball first-time and beats Pantemis at his near post.
What can be learned from this? Folks, I’m getting tired of trying to learn new things about this team. I think it’s beyond clear that this is what the Timbers are. You should never be judged by your highest highs or your lowest lows, but the Timbers constantly show their lowest lows to national (this game was on FOX) audiences on a near-weekly basis. None of their wins have been commanding or even straightforwardly boring. But the way this team gets utterly pistol-whipped game after game leaves very little doubt as to what they truly are.
Phil Neville wants this team to be aggressive and on the front foot. They constantly begin retreating when they turn the ball over. No need to explain further.
To be fair to Pantemis (he’s going to get a lot of grace over the course of this game, believe me) Gozo absolutely whips this ball with his weaker foot and sends a corkscrewing shot towards the near post. Normally, he’d save this. But he’s going to need to do a lot more to keep this scoreline somewhat competitive.
TWO MINUTES LATER, the Timbers are trying to press again. They are simply hell-bent on creating the perfect conditions for RSL to succeed and for themselves to fail. This allows NOEL CALISKAN (more on him later) to pick the ball up outside his own box and play a simple ground pass up the middle to Solans. Portland’s midfield is completely vacated because they’re trying to press RSL man-to-man.
If I really wanted to, I’d break out the screenshots for this sequence. But, to be perfectly honest with you, it’s unbelievably tiring pointing out the same mistakes WEEK after WEEK after WEEK. Don’t worry! The Timbers are one of the top four teams in the league at pressing! Their head coach said so!
Solans is able to drop into space and instantly flick the ball wide to Luna. Actually, maybe I should include the screenshots for this one. After all, RSL is doing what the Timbers desperately want to do.
I can’t believe I haven’t gotten through the first 15 minutes yet. But one thing was wildly apparent about this game. The Timbers try to do all of these same plays. There’s nothing special here, but they completely lack the understanding as to HOW these plays work. There is a difference: Portland wants to possess the ball instead of attack quickly! I hate this team. I actually hate this team. Let’s use this RSL breakaway as an example of how a COMPETENT attacking team is able to manipulate and use space.
Here’s Solans receiving the ball with his back to goal and playing a one-touch pass wide to Luna. There’s something occurring in this play that isn’t extraordinary. But it’s about to create an extraordinary outcome.
The non-extraordinary thing is Morgan Guilavogui running in behind Portland’s laughably high defensive line. However, Portland’s laughably high defensive line is extraordinary by itself. HOW, IN THE NAME OF GOD, IS GUILAVOGUI ABLE TO GET BEHIND THIS LINE WITH SO MUCH SPACE IN FRONT OF HIM WHILE REMAINING IN HIS OWN HALF? Guys, don’t worry about this. The Timbers are a “top-four pressing team” in the league. I included those quotation marks because I would never say something so stupid. But Phil Neville would!
This is where Guilavogui makes his first touch after receiving the Luna pass. Infuriating.
That touch is heavy, but it doesn’t matter because Guilavogui has NOTHING BUT GREEN GRASS IN FRONT OF HIM. He faces Pantemis and shoots towards the goalkeepers’ right. Pantemis makes an unbelievable save to keep the scoreline at 1-0. THIS IS TWO MINUTES AFTER THEY CONCEDED THE OPENING GOAL, MIND YOU. Crisis averted. Maybe they’ll learn from this.
Nope! The 2026 Portland Timbers do not learn. They continue to be stubborn. Two minutes after Pantemis’ heroic 1v1 stop, Guilavogui receives the ball in a wide-open midfield.
Luna held the ball on the sideline as Sanabria made a SUPPORTING RUN behind him. One quick backheel and then a centering pass got the ball to RSL’s newest DP. He’ll take another few unmolested touches of the ball while going forward before uncorking a reaper of a shot that clangs off the crossbar and goes out of bounds.
In the 19th minute, Antony gives the ball away. RSL fluidly move (one might say ENJOY) the ball around the top of the box before Luna finds Guilavogui. The Guinean DP fires a curling shot just wide of Pantemis’ left-handed post. Have we reached the 20 minute mark yet?
But because MLS is a silly and stupid soccer league, pure domination rarely occurs. Even the strongest teams have spells of weakness. In the 26th minute, the game was officially lost. But not before the Portland Timbers created a big chance of their own.
This sequence actually begins with the Timbers competently taking advantage of a weak RSL press. Kevin Kelsy found Cole Bassett in the channel, who flicked the ball wide to Kristoffer Velde. Instead of playing another wide pass to Brandon Bye on the wing, Velde called his shot from 30 yards out and hit Justen Glad. Gross. But the Timbers recovered the loose ball, and eventually David Da Costa played it to Bassett in the channel.
What happened next was utterly extraordinary. Bassett picked his head up and sent a cross into the box to KEVIN KELSY! This is what I have to celebrate. For the entirety of the game up to this point, RSL had been knifing Portland’s pressing structure and successfully forcing Timber turnovers. But SOMEONE finally gave Kelsy a chance when he made a run into the box. I’m resorting to cheering for BASIC and ELEMENTARY things while another team danced circles around the Timbers.
That cross found Kelsy in a perfect area: right in front of the goal. He headed the ball from point-blank range but Rafael Cabral made an excellent save to deny the Venezuelan. Bye sent another cross to the far post but Gozo beat Antony to the loose ball. But Antony won the ball back, dribbled into the box, and shot directly at Cabral. Those would be the only two shots on target for the Timbers over THE ENTIRE GAME. STINKY, STINKY, STINKY.
The Timbers won the ball back shortly after, but Bassett gave the ball away with a pass directly to Stijn Spierings. He quickly found Guilavogui, who played a ground diagonal to Luna. Suddenly, five RSL players were charging forward. Luna played a one-two with Sanabria and slotted the return pass into the net. 2-0 RSL, 28th minute.
This game was over from the opening whistle, so Luna’s goal (and RSL’s subsequent doubling of the lead) meant absolutely nothing. Once again, there was no lesson to be learned from this. Welcome back to Garbage Time! Only 61 minutes plus stoppage time to go.
Garbage Time! In the 29th Minute!
Now that we're in Garbage Time, you might be wondering whether or not the rest of these events actually matter. Technically they don't, but I'm still going to write about them. Someone has to do their job, after all (I think I've used that line some other time this year, sigh).
Sam Junqua sent a long ball over the top to Solans in the 31st minute, which allowed the rookie to get in behind. Pantemis made ANOTHER 1v1 save to keep the score 2-0.
Do you want evidence that the Timbers also believed it was Garbage Time? Look at how easily Luna turned past Antony AT THE TOP OF PORTLAND'S BOX in the 35th minute. Luna attempted a square ball, but Bye stuck a foot in. Would you like to see the defining image of the 2026 Timbers so far?
Solans wanted the ball more than the FIVE TIMBERS around him inside the box. He tries to bundle the ball into the net, but Pantemis closes the angle down. Dear God, man.
Would it surprise you that the Timbers failed to win the second ball from this save? Gozo picks it up and it gets recycled to Guilavogui, who has a chance to shoot again. Pantemis shuts him down at the near post.
Before the first half was over, RSL wanted another chance to extend their lead in the 45th minute. After getting out in transition again, Luna sent a diagonal cross to Gozo at the back post. Thankfully for the Timbers, Gozo isn’t as good with his head as he is with his feet. The header went over the bar. Da Costa gifted RSL another chance OFF OF THE RESULTING GOALKICK. Luna intercepted a wimpy telegraphed pass and found Guilavogui. The Guinean forward played a diagonal ball to Gozo, who played it back to Spierings. His cross was flicked by Solans and fell to Guilavogui, who put the shot just wide of the near post.
Finn Surman and Solans clashed heads during that last sequence, which led to the Kiwi getting a bandage on his head. In the 4th minute of stoppage time, Luna danced his way through the box and forced Pantemis to make his best save of the day. The American creator fired across his body with his left foot and Pantemis dove with his left hand extended to deny the noted Dutch Bros enthusiast. HOW ABOUT ONE MORE CHANCE BEFORE HALFTIME? Gozo tested Pantemis at the near post again in the 8th minute of stoppage time, but the goalkeeper got two fists up to punch the ball out of bounds. I APOLOGIZE FOR MISLEADING YOU, RSL HAS ANOTHER CHANCE TO SCORE BEFORE HALFTIME. Caliskan floated a cross to Guilavogui in the NINTH minute of stoppage time. Guilavogui rose up, headed the ball on frame, and forced Pantemis into another diving save.
That save brought the halftime whistle, and the carnage was apparent on the stat sheet.
THIS IS JUST FROM THE FIRST HALF! SOME TEAMS GO ENTIRE GAMES TRYING TO HIT THOSE BENCHMARKS! 3.05 xG, 18 SHOTS, 11 ON TARGET, *7 BIG CHANCES*, and a whopping 12 SHOTS INSIDE THE BOX! The Timbers were utterly steamrolled, thumped, obliterated, you pick a word.
In 2023, the Timbers lost 5-0 in Houston. The Dynamo didn’t crack either of those benchmarks over the entire game, much less one half. But that was under a different head coach. How does that half compare to ENTIRE GAMES under Neville’s tenure? Well, the 2024 Timbers famously never lost a game by multiple goals until they got humiliated by Vancouver (#SaveTheCaps) in the Wild Card Game. The Whitecaps didn’t hit those numbers over the entirety of that game either. Maybe the 4-1 in San Jose last season? Still no. 3-0 in Toronto? Nope. Even both San Diego 4-0s didn’t hit those dubious highs. Words cannot describe how bad that half was. Pantemis’ heroics prevented RSL from leaving the first half of today’s game with at least FIVE GOALS. Somehow, the Timbers still had something to play for in the second half.
That second half began with Kamal Miller replacing the injured Surman. In the 50th minute, Gozo erased Bye with a quick touch and flew forward. He tried to curl it to the far post but Pantemis denied him. I guess there wasn’t going to be a fight-back after all. Guess what happened afterward? The Timbers turned the ball over again, and Caliskan took aim from deep. Pantemis batted the ball, but it fell to Sanabria, who headed it over the bar. Sigh. Sanabria tested Pantemis from distance two minutes later, but another acrobatic stop kept the game 2-0.
Finally, the Timbers got a chance in the 62nd minute. Velde and Kelsy combined, which put the ball on Da Costa’s foot after a smart flick from the Venezuelan striker. Portuguese Dave tried to curl the ball to the far post but put it too far wide.
If the Timbers were truly intent on getting a result, they would simply try to go long and play for the second ball during the rest of the game. BUT NO! In the 75th minute, they were still intent on trying to play out from the back. This led to another turnover (unfortunately from Jose Caicedo) and a Spierings shot from distance that Pantemis parried behind.
This is where the highlight package ended, but I’d like to explain what happened during the majority of the second half after RSL’s early flurry. It’s going to become important later, because Neville would say after the game that the team was good in the second half. Portland kept the ball in RSL’s half for a good portion of the period, but ended with 5 shots and a whopping ZERO on target. It’s not the first time that the Timbers have finished a half of soccer without putting a shot on frame. I don’t think it will be the last either. RSL sat back, dared the Timbers to beat them with the ball, and largely kept them from doing so. For almost 30 minutes of a soccer game, RSL teased the Portland Timbers.
That 2-0 final score greatly flattered Portland. Same with the 2-0 in Colorado, and the 2-0 in Minnesota. But this one was the most flattering of all.
Why Bother?
The Timber Review podcast has been such a welcome addition to the Portland soccer media ecosystem. Not only am I friends with the hosts, but I find their analysis insightful and helpful. Sometimes either host (Adam or Adam) will mention something that I didn’t consider, or provide further context to a situation. However, although we might not agree on everything, there is one overarching theme to this season that we all agree on: recapping these games is becoming so goddamn boring.
They sit in front of a microphone and talk about the same problems occurring with this team week after week after week. I do the same, except my medium is the written word. This allows me to clip videos into these recaps and try to go into more detail. You can probably guess what’s coming next. After all, the formula remains consistent.
Here’s a clip of a buildup failure! Now here’s a small (ha, “small”) paragraph explaining what went wrong. Guess what? The Timbers struggle at ALL PHASES of the game! So here’s a pressing failure! Time for another paragraph or two or seven or twelve about what went wrong!
Above all else, I DESPISE repeating myself. Yeah, yeah, I repeat myself all the time. But I’m going to ask just this once: is it really working breaking out Ol’ Reliable and diving into MORE FILM from this game just for the sake of explaining the same mistakes over and over and over again?
Is it worth another deep dive into this team’s repeated and constant failures to do the basics correctly? Do I need to show another midfield turnover, another failed press, another terrible touch, ANOTHER PASS TO A WINGER WITH HIS BACK TO GOAL, or even another sequence of the Timbers complacently recycling the ball around the box without any idea of what they’re supposed to be doing?
I think we can all agree that another deep dive isn’t necessary. You, like me, have seen all of those problems for MONTHS, much less weeks. You saw them last year, after Evander left and Jonathan Rodriguez got hurt and this team was lacking a force magnifying DP in the attack who could draw enough attention due to his own singular threat while opening up space for others. It doesn’t take a genius to grab a group of players with complimentary roles, put them in those spots to succeed, and let them cook!
But those are only the offensive struggles, which have only popped up since both 2024 DPs were unavailable in 2025. Those early 2025 Timbers were elite on the counterattack, showing hunger and willingness to get forward and make teams regret giving them opportunities to carve them apart. Injuries took their toll, and new additions provided some growing pains. Now, in 2026, the Timbers have completely regressed on the offensive end. They succeed when other teams give them the opportunity to succeed, not the other way around.
Portland does nice work here to take advantage of a little bit of sluggishness in RSL's rotations, get it between the lines and... waste it on an 0.02 xG rip from 30 yards. Minutes later they're down 2-0. This is what the fans mean when they complain about a lack of attacking patterns.
— Matthew Doyle (@mattdoyle.bsky.social) May 2, 2026 at 2:24 PM
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There is literally nothing else I can add to this caption.
However, the same defensive struggles have remained. Like their offensive problems, they have regressed year over year. Some may point to 2025 as a year when Portland’s defense stepped up to the plate, but the structure was still incredibly problematic (AS I KEPT REPEATING, AT LENGTH, THROUGHOUT THE SEASON). Neville wants you to believe that Portland’s defensive struggles stem from the team’s inability to keep the ball. That’s part of it, but NO ONE ASKED THIS TEAM TO DO THE PSG KICKOFF AND TRY TO HIGH PRESS IMMEDIATELY FROM THE OPENING WHISTLE. As their press got (predictably) carved apart time after time, this game turned into a Groundhog Day of repeated errors. Why in the name of hell is this team so intent on playing directly into their opponents’ strengths? RSL was already known to be a dangerous counterattacking unit, and the Timbers responded by giving them ACRES of space behind their defensive line to attack into. These same predictable and mystifying errors are becoming so tiresome to recount WEEK after WEEK after WEEK.
However, I am going to take a look at one of Neville’s common themes because it does hold some weight. The Timbers are not going to get far if they can’t hold onto the ball.
All of those squares in Portland’s half are ball recoveries. RSL kept winning the ball at will in Portland’s half throughout this game. Some of those were from the press and others were from second balls from clearances. Dear God.
Maybe the Timbers would keep the ball better if they actually fought for those second balls. This team is set up to be passive, so they are passive. From their possession play (STILL LACKING OFF-BALL RUNNERS) to their defending (KEEP RETREATING, IT'S GOING TO PAY OFF EVENTUALLY), the Portland Timbers are a portrait of passivity. But don’t worry! At least all of the starters are available! The first-choice lineup can be selected every game! More on that later.
Box Tilt
You already know that RSL won the box tilt battle. I don’t even have to give you the numbers. I’m still going to give you the numbers though (44-16, the exact score of the 2019 CFP Championship game between Clemson and Alabama [the best and most dominating win of the Dabo Sweeney era]). While the Timbers narrowly lost the box tilt battle in San Diego, all of RSL’s box touches were far more threatening than anything Los Plasticos could conjure last week. And the Timbers (aside from the double chance in the 26th minute) couldn’t muster anything close to danger in RSL’s box.
Player Ratings
JAMES PANTEMIS: 10
Congratulations to James Pantemis, who set a MLS-era Timbers record with 13 saves. 9 of those occurred in the first half, and all of them were sensational. It is incredibly rare to get a 10 rating on Sofascore, but Pantemis accomplished it in today’s game. His immediate reaction to putting his name in the record books? Exhaustion.
I’d be really tired too if I was bailing out my teammates at every possible occasion. Especially while facing so many 1v1 breakaway opportunities. It’s become something of a specialty for him over his Timbers tenure, and I wanted to learn more about this aspect of the game(especially considering that I was terrible at stopping 1v1s when I played goalkeeper as a kid). Here’s how Pantemis faces these kinds of situations:
“Obviously there are some little cues that you try to look at. We work on breakaways, we do 1v1 drills, 2v1 drills. Nothing can really prepare you for the game. At the end of the day, it’s you against the shooter and you’ve got to try and play your angles, play the mind game a little bit, and stay as big as possible. Luckily, today the majority of them went in my way. There’s other times where the majority of them go the forward’s way. So it was one of those days where I read everything right most of the time and I got the upper hand.”
He is so unbelievably humble for someone so talented. Speaking of that talent, he’s rebounded from a pretty rough start to the season to suddenly position himself in a great place to join the Canada squad for the World Cup. Not just the squad though. I think he should be starting. Dayne St. Clair and Maxime Crepeau (the latter of whom holds the MLS record for saves in a game, something that was on Pantemis’ mind as he faced the scoreboard in the second half) haven’t found themselves in the greatest of form for their respective Florida clubs. He’s gotta be on that metaphorical plane, and definitely be in contention to get the starting job.
His teammates should be buying him all the beers in the world as a debt of gratitude for single-handedly keeping this scoreline from being an utter embarrassment. Even RSL head coach Pablo Mastroeni had no other choice but to credit Pantemis for his performance. Eventually his teammates have to start rewarding outings like this with any sort of competency higher up the pitch. It must break his heart to see so many unforced errors and basic issues from his lonely spot between the sticks. He’s one of the Timbers’ two most valuable players, and his contract is up at the end of the season. A raise is certainly coming, and games like this keep driving up that price.
Finn Surman: 6
Portland’s other MVP is Surman, who did not have a good game. Even before he left with a head injury at halftime, the Kiwi defender had to track every single runner in his hemisphere. Neville’s system is based around Surman’s recovery speed and defensive ability, yet he routinely got outhustled and outmuscled by Solans. I hope that his head injury isn’t too serious, or this team will be utterly screwed.
Brandon Bye: 6
I saw Bye’s tenacity repeatedly throughout this game. He ended up being quite active in the jawing department, sharing several encounters with RSL players whenever they got in talking range. However, he contributed very little on the defensive front and got embarrassed by Gozo in the 50th minute. Juan Mosquera should be back next week.
Alex Bonetig: 5
Two things were greatly exposed in Bonetig’s toolkit today. The first was his physicality, as he repeatedly got muscled off the ball by Solans and other RSL attackers (most notably on Gozo’s goal). His speed also left something to be desired. However, he completed all of his passes except for one long ball (the only one he attempted, which happened to be the first pass of the game on the PSG kickoff). He makes good and smart passes, but his teammates are unable to do anything with them. A disappointing outing for the Australian center back who seemed to be trending upward in recent weeks.
Jimer Fory: 6.8
Here’s something that might be a hot take: I think Fory was unquestionably Portland’s best defender today.
That might not seem like a crowning achievement given how this game played out, but I saw a lot more positive than negative. However, I have to start with the negatives. I think he could’ve closed down Gozo’s goal. But at the same time, I don’t believe that was entirely an effort problem. Throughout this game, Antony repeatedly failed to track back, often leaving his like-sided teammate in a serious bind. As the game wore on, Fory kept improving. I know he has a problem with yellow cards, but I didn’t mind watching him put a hard challenge on DeAndre Yedlin to earn the first (on-field) booking of the match. In addition, he looked really comfortable as a left center back once the Timbers switched to a back three in the second half. Did I mention that they switched to a back three in the second half yet? More on that later.
Jose Caicedo: 7
This is another hard grade to give, especially because Caicedo did commit a fairly high amount of turnovers. But so did the vast majority of his teammates. I’m choosing to blame those turnovers on naive coaching instead of Caicedo’s own personal failures. He led all players with 12 defensive actions (with 5 interceptions being the most notable) and seemed to be giving the maximum amount of effort.
Cole Bassett: 5.5
On the other hand, Caicedo’s midfield partner had a very difficult day at the office. His two worst performances of the season have come against the Rocky Mountain rivals. There’s one commonality that both of those teams share: a willingness to heavily man-mark their opponents.
Bassett was being marked by Caliskan, who routinely had the former Rapid in hell. This isn’t the first time that Caliskan has done this, and it certainly won’t be the last. I’m very concerned about Bassett’s lack of press resistance. When Caicedo lost the ball, it was usually due to a miscommunication on a pass. Bassett commonly would just get outmuscled and get the ball taken off of him. This rating should probably be a 5, but I want to give extra points for his potential assist to Kelsy in the 26th minute. I’ve been begging for those types of deliveries ALL SEASON LONG, and it was one of the rare things that brought a smile to my face during this game (like an actually sincere smile, not an “I’m so utterly dumbfounded that I’m smiling” kind of smile).
Kristoffer Velde: 5.5
This was a really odd Velde game. On one hand, he didn’t get the ball taken off him on the dribble. He also drew 5 fouls, including a 31st-minute tackle that left him on the ground for a bit. RSL fans, always the nicest, chose to boo him for the rest of the game after that. I don’t think it was necessarily earned, but those fans have a bit to commit to. He was largely ineffective in the final third, firing several pointless shots from outside the box that were nowhere near the target. He has to start involving his teammates more.
David Da Costa: 6.4
He just wants some runners, guys. No one on this team runs for him. Whenever Da Costa looks up the field, he can’t find anyone willing to make a dangerous run for him. As a result, Portland’s longest-tenured DP (a wild sentence to write) has turned into the recycle captain. I worry about Portuguese Dave’s physicality, and I’m starting to see calls for him on the left wing begin to make more and more sense. I think it’s nearly impossible for him to be a 10 in this system and expect game-changing output. Well, until he gets more runners around him.
Antony: 6.4
That left wing spot is currently being occupied by Antony, who probably should not have started this game. I can’t blame that on the player though. If the Timbers are going to be so committed to being a possession-dominant side (while utterly failing at accomplishing that objective) I do not see a useful starting role for Antony. He is being asked to hold up play whenever he receives the ball because balls into space rarely get played towards him. HE IS ONE OF THE FASTEST PLAYERS IN THE ENTIRE LEAGUE! UTILIZE THAT SPEED AS A GAME-CHANGING SUBSTITUTE OFF OF THE BENCH! IT ISN’T THAT HARD!
Kevin Kelsy: Two Thumbs-Up
If it wasn’t for Pantemis’ heroics, Kelsy would be the Timbers’ man of the match.
He led the team in a very important category: chances created. His improvement from last year to this year is obvious, and I’m so happy that someone finally crossed him the ball when he made a run into the box. Keep feeding him, and the goals will come. The Venezuelan striker has seriously developed into an asset in possession. It’s clear that he’s learning from Felipe Mora; the master of the one touch flick pass into space. Starting Kelsy gives the Timbers their best chance to win.
Kamal Miller: 7.2
If the Timbers have any itchiness to go to a back three again, Miller has to play in the center. The second half was full of quality Miller moments, from his passing to defensive work. I think he commands the backline in a way that the other center backs do not, which makes him a perfect candidate to play in the center of a three. Do y’all remember the road win at LAFC last year? Miller played in the center between Fory and Surman and was outstanding. This was his first appearance since the red card against the Galaxy back in March. Did the competition for Surman’s partner just heat up again?
Ian Smith: 7.5
When I take notes during each game, sometimes I scribble things between writing down the events of the game. Allow me to take you behind the curtain with this note from the 89th minute:
*IAN SMITH MAKES DIAGONAL RUNS.*
It’s true. He’s one of the only players on this team that utilizes dynamic movement around the final third. I noticed a ton of positive movement and other on-ball contributions throughout this game from Portland’s sophomore defender. That noted diagonal run didn’t feature a pass going in his direction, so I have to assume that he did it organically. Ironically, I think he has the most chemistry with Velde out of anyone on the team. In the third minute of second-half stoppage time, he played a long one-two with the Norwegian winger. The entry pass was blocked, but it felt good to see that kind of play from two Timbers players. If this team was to switch to the back three (eyebrows raised), Smith would be a locked-in starter at left wing-back. Just like he was last year, when his presence on that left side proved to be a consistent positive for the team.
Alexander Aravena: START HIM
I had a conversation with Portland’s on-loan Chilean winger this week. When I was writing my preview of this game, I completely forgot to publish his comments! So here’s a slice of Alexander Aravena for your pleasure.
He’s been enjoying his time at the club, noting that he feels “very comfortable.” When I asked him about Neville’s direction to “enjoy the ball,” Aravena said, “If that’s what coach is going to ask for us, then it’s because we have the ability to do so. If you want to maintain more of the ball, then that’s what we’re going to do.”
They really could have used him in the first half. Starting Aravena and bringing Antony on as a supersub gets the best out of both players. His two most important plays involved his head, utilizing deft flick-ons to move the ball to his teammates. Unless there’s some unknown mandatory purchase clause in his loan contract, there’s no reason why he shouldn’t be starting every game that he can.
Gage Guerra: Effort and Hustle
Guerra touched the ball twice, and both of those touches occurred in the final third. They resulted in two completed passes. It’s worth noting that he took Joao Ortiz’s spot in the squad for this game. Is there a chance where he works his way into the backup spot behind Kelsy?
Coach Rating: I Can’t Do This Anymore
I don’t know what else to say. I simply can’t do this anymore.
This game, as we’ve already discussed, was over from the opening whistle. Neville’s tactical decisions played right into RSL’s hands, and the Timbers paid for that with a dreadful first half. I keep on trying to learn things about this team, but I’m being met with the same stubborn answers from their play on the pitch. Does that carry over into the post-game pressers?
After the Vancouver game, I mentioned that there were three “turning point” press conferences (*this space has been provided for you to make your own joke*) in Phil Neville’s tenure as Portland’s head coach. From the “responsibility to blame” strategy after the Wild Card defeat against the Whitecaps, to the “we’re so close to being good” theme after a loss in Seattle where the Timbers were absolutely not good at all and last month’s open hostility and referee blaming in Vancouver, Neville has an unfortunate habit of turning press conferences into theater. Pre-game pressers do not fall into this category because there’s still hope that the Timbers won’t show up in two days and be an utter disappointment. After today’s abhorrent display, the Neville Gambit was in full swing.
“Gambit” can be shortened to “bit,” which is something that I am always committed to. When I say that I don’t want to repeat myself, I truly hate it and will do everything in my power to avoid repeating myself. Neville’s go-to strategy after a particularly tough loss is to take responsibility for the defeat before blaming the players and ultimately taking no responsibility at all aside from his seemingly empty words. Since today’s post-game presser was rather short (they had to catch a flight) I think it’s worth going over every single empty word he uttered after another repulsive result.
First he gave his thoughts on the game. There will be interruptions, I just want to warn you ahead of time.
“We lost the game in the first half and that’s all on me. I take full responsibility. I think I’ve sat here in the past and we’ve spoke about accountability. I think the first half was definitely on me in terms of the way that we tried to, uh, play.”
In his first season, he would hit on these broad notes throughout similar post-game pressers. However, if you watch the tape, it’s clear that he doesn’t actually believe the words that he’s saying. Maybe in the past it was a bit different. I still believe that he did feel some sort of responsibility for the Wild Card defeat. But he was more angry at the players than angry at himself. Today was no different, except that I don’t believe he felt any sort of anger at himself for the team’s woeful display. This “accountable apology” was completely half-assed and sounded like he was reading from a sheet of paper. Like he had to get it on the record that he was taking accountability for this game as a means of checking a box on a checklist.
“I just said to the players that they were let down badly by their coach in the first half. And I take full responsibility for it. So I think that’s probably the main thing. Then I thought that the second half team had a resemblance of a structure, organization”
Guys, he’s feeling it again. He saw the team in a back three against a RSL side that was more than content to pick their spots and press their advantage instead of relying on the all-out havoc they employed in the first half. That “back three” button is still on his desk.
“But not the first half, and that’s all on me.”
That answer took 41 seconds of clock. He took accountability for the way that they tried to play and letting down the players.
This specific locker room is the most common out-of-town venue that I’ve been in for post-game pressers. Two years ago, Neville quipped that he “thought that this team was going to kill me and if they did, I would die happy,” in this same room. That was said right after Jonathan Rodriguez scored a last-gasp equalizing header from a Miguel Araujo cross to steal a point in Salt Lake City. At the time, I wondered if this team would ever learn anything. Flash forward two years, and it’s clear that they haven’t and won’t.
Now it’s my turn. This game provided plenty of talking points, most of which covering the same basic errors that this team cannot be counted on to avoid on a weekly basis. But the most mystifying aspect of these Timbers remains their complete inability to take any semblance of positive momentum from these late game-winners (the only way that they have won games in 2026) into the following week.
On the surface, those types of emotional victories should provide jet-packs to a group of players whose confidence seems to be non-existent. But even a late game-winning goal cannot travel into the next game. This loss was utterly unacceptable because it provided the third data point in a perplexing pattern. Once is a fluke, twice is a coincidence, thrice is science. I needed to understand when and how this disastrous trend became equivalent to a law of nature.
“Coach, the team has won three games this year and directly after each win they’ve lost 2-0 and have looked, like, getting completely played off the pitch. Just unable to do the basics to even be competitive in a game of soccer. What are your thoughts on the way that this team just cannot keep momentum from one week to the other?”
Here comes the response. Oh brother.
“Well, I mean the first half was on me.”
That is not an answer to this question.
“No blame to the first half. Could we have played it? Could we have passed better? Yeah, we could’ve. But I think the first half was on me.”
That still isn’t an answer to this question.
“We didn’t get outplayed second half.”
That still isn’t an answer to this question. And they did get outplayed in the second half, even with RSL easing their foot off the gas pedal.
They didn’t get “outplayed,” yet they didn’t put a single shot on target. The Timbers did double the amount of passes completed in the opposition half (104-55) but they still fell short in box touches 13-8. More pointless possession while RSL continued to be threatening after every turnover. I can’t do this anymore.
“We got outplayed first half. We didn’t get outplayed in Minnesota, but we lost the game.”
He still hasn’t answered the question. And the Timbers did get outplayed in Minnesota. I don’t need to pull up the stats for that one. You know it, I know it, but he doesn’t know it.
“So I think the consistency now is something that we need to get better at. We’ve got a big week coming up, and like I said I think my overall thoughts of the game, forget the second half, is that the first half was on me. So I think any criticism comes my way, anything comes my way in that first half because the team needed to be better set up in that first half.”
He still hasn’t answered the question. He got close with that first sentence, but it’s far too general to even draw a legitimate conclusion from. Neville wants everybody to know that he took accountability for the first half and that’s why they lost the game. Any criticism can be leveled at him. I can’t do this anymore.
This left room for a follow-up, so I tried to get a better answer on the one fraction of that response that was remotely an answer to my question. I wasn’t expecting the opportunity to have a follow-up given the time constraints, so I had to think on my feet. I wish I could have worded this better. I really do.
“Uh, yeah, just as this team gets closer and closer to the World Cup break and the performances continue to lack this level of consistency, what do you think is the biggest thing that this team is struggling with amidst the myriad of things that they’re struggling with?”
You have no idea how angry I was during the “uh, yeah” at the beginning of this question. I was positively fuming. I can’t do this anymore.
“The consistency is the biggest thing that we’re struggling with.”
That is an answer, but it’s unsatisfactory given the, to quote myself, MYRIAD of things that the team is struggling with. Consistency with what? Passing, defending, tackling, structure, chance creation, dribbling, first touches, receiving? None of these issues are remotely consistent. After that Seattle loss, Neville was adamant that the finishing was letting the team down. That’s not a super-specific answer, but it did give a legitimate reason for what facet of the team Neville was most frustrated with. “Consistency” means nothing when every area of this team’s play on the pitch is inconsistent as hell.
“When you’ve got young players, they struggle with consistency.”
Diego Luna doesn’t struggle with consistency. Sergi Solans, for the most part, has been very consistent in his rookie season. Noel Caliskan has been a MLS player for four seasons, but he’s only 25; one year older than Cole Bassett and Antony. Zavier Gozo is ripping this league apart, and he’s in my Kickbase team because of how consistently good he is! Portland’s floor changes week by week. RSL’s doesn’t. Sure, the Timbers are relying on younger players throughout the core of the squad, but RSL’s young players show up and do the damn thing every single week.
“What I would say is what you saw in the second half; Kamal, Ian Smith, Aravena came into the game and maybe there was a bit of complacency with the players that have been playing.”
TWO MINUTES AND TWENTY-FOUR SECONDS. THE ACCOUNTABILITY HAS BEEN THROWN OUT THE WINDOW AND ONTO A BUSY SIX-LANE SURFACE ROAD LABELED AS A U.S. HIGHWAY. Folks, the Neville Gambit is in full effect again. Grab your popcorn.
“But what I think I saw in the second half was is that maybe there needs to be some changes within the starting eleven. Maybe people got comfortable in there. Maybe because they’ve been bought or brought in or DPs or whatever for large tags and large salaries; maybe there’s a bit of comfort in terms of their overall feeling.”
He’s walked over the ledge. Now it’s time to flail. There are so many layers to this quote, beyond the surface-level meaning of the words. I think it deserves a deep unpacking. By the way, THIS STILL ISN’T AN ANSWER TO THE QUESTION. However, it somehow directly contradicts the answer that he already gave. It’s a masterpiece in the worst possible way.
Let’s start with the “starting eleven” aspect first. After last season ended, Neville harped on the need for a consistent starting eleven. Throughout the opening weeks to this season, when various absences and injury designations graced the availability report, Neville would not stop talking about how this team needed every one of their starters back. Those starters (aside from Mosquera) have now played 4 straight games together (minus some shuffles at striker and left wing). The midfield is settled. The backline is settled. Both DPs have consistently played in the same spots. Now, after all of the offseason talk and current season bargaining, the Timbers now need changes to their starting eleven? Because of, wait for it, COMPLACENCY?
It’s so hard to believe that these players are complacent when they are implementing the same tactics and strategies from the training ground into these matches. Throughout weekly training, I see the same patterns. Three or four passes to make a move that could be done in one singular pass. Deliveries into the box from sub-optimal areas; relying on players to make difficult attempts on goal provided a defender doesn’t clear the cross first. Possession drills operated in a consistent structure, yes, but absolutely zero movement outside of that structure. I see a group of players that step onto the field and, per my own knowledge and understanding of the game, play EXACTLY LIKE HOW NEVILLE WANTS THEM TO PLAY.
I do not see every training session. That’s understood. But I do see what is presented to me, and it’s my job to interpret it. My interpretations do not account for film studies, individual sessions, or other closed-off activities geared towards making this team better on the field. I was looking for a specific thing in this game for the sole purpose of including in this recap: Antony making diagonal off-ball runs into the box. To his credit, I saw a few of those during this game. His lone shot on target didn’t come from one of those runs (it came from him carrying the ball diagonally) but it was another aspect of this team’s play that directly carried over from the training ground. It was a point of emphasis throughout open training, and I was pretty glad to see it in practice during a game.
But that’s one positive aspect of this team’s training regimen compared to several other ones that do not prepare this team for success on gamedays. The evidence is right in front of me. It no longer surprises me to see the Timbers win the ball and fail to transition into a quick counterattack. They are so deadset on keeping the ball (part of their identity, per Pantemis) that mere possession is treated as a triumph. RSL was simply better today, and they were set up to exploit every single weakness that the Timbers, once again, HANDED TO THEM ON A GOLDEN PLATTER.
I do not understand Neville’s choice to expand on anything past the initial “starting eleven” comment. There was absolutely no need to bring in players on big salaries or players who just moved to the club. Even less incentive to mention a certain level of “comfort” that he provided to them (without a doubt). In what world is Neville benching Da Costa, Velde, Bassett, or Caicedo? Surman and Fory are Sharpied in as well, especially because THE BEST PLAYERS ON THIS TEAM HELP MAKE THE TEAM BETTER. It’s elementary, it’s foolish, and it’s utterly SENSELESS to make any form of that comment publicly. Do the players watch these? Do they think these are empty words? How are they reacting to these words when, in their minds, they are stepping onto the pitch and doing exactly what they’ve been doing in training? Even Pantemis mentioned how much he practices breakaways and 1v1s throughout the week to prepare him for situations exactly like the ones he faced today! I’m utterly dumbfounded. I can’t do this anymore.
“We just need to be better.”
His final sentence in this bewildering answer doesn’t respond to the question. In total, he used 19 sentences to respond to both questions. Only TWO provided some semblance of an answer, and I found none of them acceptable. Just like the manner of this defeat.
I’ve seen data points with much worse surface-level outcomes logged into evidence that a project just isn’t working. I’ve seen far more cumbersome obstacles towards deciding to go in a different direction, yet those various hindrances have not prevented the execution of such resolutions. In short, it’s beyond difficult to imagine that things could improve beyond the barest of expectations necessitating the confirmation of what should be fairly achievable superficial accomplishments. I can’t do this anymore.
The accountability rings hollow. The inconsistency has no tangible solution. The naked eye doesn’t need to be expanded beyond what can already be seen. No further depth will reveal a secret ingredient towards finding a satisfactory product. There is no use in studying what has been analyzed countless times over the last period of time. It hasn’t gotten better. It has only gotten worse. And there’s every reason to believe that it will continue to get worse. I. Can’t. Do. This. Anymore.
Table Time
A hearty CONGRATULATIONS is in order for Sporting Kansas City, who broke their 6-game losing streak (across all competitions) with a quite humorous draw against the Seattle Sounders. Cristian Roldan decided to pad his stats as he competes for a World Cup spot by providing a glorious assist to Dejan Joveljic, a player who is not a Seattle Sounder. Outstanding work.
In other league news, Miami held a 3-0 lead at their home stadium against fierce rivals Orlando in the 33rd minute. Powered by a Martin Ojeda hat trick, the Lions made a ferocious comeback and kept the Herons winless at their new home stadium (aptly named “Nu Stadium” [God I love this league]) in their 4th game at their state-of-the-art home.
Ojeda wasn’t the only player to taste the sweet thrill of scoring three goals in a match. Old friend (now hated enemy) Evander tallied his first MLS hat trick in a game that saw an undeserving Cincinnati get a priceless win in Chicago. That kinda stinks!
Elsewhere, the mighty Vancouver Whitecaps rescued a deserved point in Carson courtesy of a late Mathias Laborda header. San Jose drew a game for the first time all year in the Fumble Dimension that is an early kick-off in Toronto. Minnesota erased a 2-0 deficit in Columbus and took all three points. They’ve now collected 19 points from their last 21 available since losing 6-0 to the Vancouver Whitecaps. That Western Conference is looking mighty strong.
The Timbers finish Saturday in 12th place, but could be surpassed by Austin (who are also on 10 points). St. Louis and SKC cannot catch the Timbers this week, but a St. Louis win against Austin on Sunday could catapult the Raviolis into catching distance of Portland. The underlying numbers tend to like the Raviolis, even though manager Yoann Damet has struggled with team selection (THERE ARE TWO VERY GOOD CENTER BACKS WITH THE LAST NAME “FALL” ON THIS TEAM AND NEITHER OF THEM HAVE MADE A LEAGUE START YET).
On that note, RSL became the latest team without a shutout to record a clean sheet. That leaves Portland, SKC, STL, and Orlando as the only teams still chasing a clean sheet; a statistic that literally guarantees any team at least one point. But don’t worry guys. Shutouts are hard to come by in MLS. That’s what the head coach said, after all.
Final Whistle
Since Phil Neville took over the team in 2023, every single RSL away game has been utterly illuminating. That 2024 thriller that I mentioned earlier cemented this team’s status as one that will never learn anything and maybe, just maybe, that unwillingness to learn might be acceptable. Last year’s rather uneventful 0-0 draw ended up being a lesson in toughness and grind. The 2025 Timbers did a lot of grinding, and that game was decided on a clutch Rafael Cabral triple-save. It taught the viewing audience that the Timbers could find a way to be relatively defensively sound but had trouble converting big chances in high-stakes scenarios. I think I’ve made my takeaways from today’s disaster pretty clear already, and I don’t like to repeat myself.
These matches, against one of Portland’s pure competitive rivals, always feature two combative opponents (not on this occasion) and an opportunity for old friends (hello again, Noel Caliskan) to trade blows on a pretty well-manicured pitch. RSL is always a barometer that the Timbers can use due to their historic tendency to see each other in the postseason. Right now, the Monarchs are trending upward while the Timbers continue their tumble. I entered this game with zero expectations, and all of those expectations were shattered after the opening kickoff.
I’ve made my opinions about the city of Salt Lake very clear over the years. Since 2026 marked the 10th year since I was last a resident of Utah’s capital city, I was oddly dreading this year’s annual trip. Not really because of the game, mind you. I had to face something I was still coming to terms with: the relocation of the Salt Lake Bees.
When I lived in Utah, I adopted the Bees as one of my teams. At first these reasons were purely ironic (mostly due to a very stupid inside joke that’s somehow still funny) but the irony soon gave way to sincerity, especially because I desperately wished that the Beavers could have found a permanent home in Portland after the Timbers hopped up to the big leagues. I spent whole afternoons at Smith’s Ballpark; only a short train ride from downtown. Bees games had the same gimmicky nonsense that usually comes with minor league baseball games (like an infamous produce race modeled after Milwaukee’s sausage race and a miniature train that cycled around the stadium giving rides to various children) yet the baseball was always the main focus of the day. These crowds usually featured a fair amount of adults, drawn to the ballpark for its proximity to downtown and the offer of a nice casual day out for a relatively low cost.
But that all changed in late 2022, when the Bees decided not to renew their lease at Smith’s. Instead, the Larry H. Miller Company (founded by a deceased businessman who promptly stuck his name on every available advertising space in the Salt Lake metro area) decided to build a new ballpark in Daybreak; a community as far away from downtown as humanly possible without crossing into the Utah Valley. The far southwest corner of the Salt Lake Valley was about to host the team that had called Smith’s home since 1994. This news angered the hell out of me, mostly because some of my fondest memories in Salt Lake occurred at that perfect ballpark. As a student in high school with a small amount of disposable income, it became rather easy to simply look at the calendar in the spring and see if there was a Bees game that day. Smith’s was right off the light rail system; with a station serviced by all three major lines. The people of Salt Lake knew what they were losing, so it didn’t surprise me that September 22nd, 2024 became a bittersweet outing for many long-time residents.
Through sheer dumb luck, the Timbers played the day before. Of course I planned this trip around, you know, doing my job, but it had to be fated that the Timbers would bring me to town so I could go to one final Bees game. It was even more special that it turned out to be the last game at Smith’s. I got my tickets and an obscene amount of discounted hot dogs and settled in to watch a chapter of my life fully close.
The Bees weren’t good. They got spanked by LA’s Triple-A affiliate (Oklahoma City, which I’ve previously referred to as a place that specializes in illiteracy [that’s right, I’m doubling down]) and the Bees’ tenure at their relatively young home ended with a routine groundout to third base. Most fans didn’t leave after that final out. They stayed behind and booed the suits who went down onto the field and spoke their LinkedIn-coded pre-prepared speeches about how special Smith’s was and how much more special the new stadium would be. As I streamed out of the stadium with multitudes of Bees fans and headed to my train platform, I struck up a conversation with several of them. They, like me, pained over the decision made to move the Bees away from the heart of their fanbase and into the distant suburbs. I flew out that night, wondering if I’d ever decide to go see those silly Bees play another game. “Probably not,” I told myself. “Why the FUCK would I ever go to Daybreak?”
Two years later, the opportunity arose. The Bees were in town, coinciding perfectly with the Timbers’ annual visit. I told myself that I had to go, no matter what. RSL away was already a foregone conclusion. The real struggle was getting up the nerve to go to Daybreak.
I literally waited until the last possible moment to leave my hotel room. When I caught my train, wearing my stupid Bees hat, I struck up a conversation with a dad and his son on his way to the Utah Mammoth playoff hockey game. I had considered checking out the newest team in town, but tickets were priced through the roof and all the cheaper tickets featured obstructed view seating. Plus, I’d be rooting for the opposing team if I went. That would be due to Salt Lake’s status as a hockey city only existing due to another professional sports owner pulling a Dickhead Gambit in Phoenix and selling the team to a Utah-based businessman with the sole intentions of moving the team. To that businessman’s credit, he has been pouring in his personal fortune towards arena upgrades and fan engagement. He’s doing it right, but it still stinks for the people of Phoenix.
That dad and son were thrilled about their team’s chances in a must-win Game 6 against the hated Vegas Golden Knights. I wished them good luck (because I’m a nice guy) and hopped off the train to catch my ride to Daybreak. I never had a good reason to ride the Red Line of UTA’s supremely underrated TRAX system except if I just needed a ride within the Fare Free Zone downtown. Going out to the ‘burbs was never on my to-do list. But my idiotic self needed to get to a Bees game no matter what.
The ride was long and dreary. The normal suburban sprawl began to get replaced by empty fields and some industrial areas before the town of Daybreak sprung out of the bleak landscape like a gentrified mirage. This new stadium was supposed to be the centerpiece of a fake downtown district for people who found ways to be terrified of real downtowns. I walked in, grabbed a bobblehead and a lei (it was a AAPI heritage night) and walked to my seat. I hadn’t even bothered to buy a ticket until I was on the train platform.
As I walked around an actually pretty decent minor league ballpark, I just couldn’t get happy. Maybe a $10 tall boy of Kona Big Wave would help, alongside some catered Little Caesar’s Pizza resold at various concession platforms. I settled into my seats, sipped my beer, ate my food, and just got sadder.
The Bees now featured recognizable MLB-quality players like cancer survivor Trey Mancini (who never got the consistent standing ovation that he wholeheartedly deserves with every at-bat), cult hero Jose Siri, and World Series champion Chris Taylor. Even former Oregon State legend Nick Madrigal was batting leadoff. The Los Angeles Angels, Salt Lake’s parent team, haven’t had the best start to the MLB season. They’ve got quite a few players hanging out in Daybreak.
Those big-league caliber players began the night by humiliating the Sacramento River Cats, Oakland’s AAA affiliate (the horrors of relocation, one team stuck between permanent homes playing at the home stadium of their minor league affiliate). In fact, I have never seen a Bees team be that good. But I cheered half-heartedly, because I wasn’t at a Salt Lake Bees game. I was watching the Daybreak Bees, and I despised them.
Those fun nights in 2016 became outings for suburbia in 2026. Situated in a fake downtown in the far reaches of modern development, it never felt like I was watching my Bees. I pondered leaving after the 4th inning (the Bees had built themselves quite a safe cushion) but I decided to check out the view from the outfield instead.
Yeah, it’s a pretty little ballpark, but it isn’t Smith’s. It’s a monument to the suburbs and the counterculture that wants to move life as far away from cities as humanly possible. I could only stomach a couple more innings before I called it a night.
I will never go to another Salt Lake Bees game again. It’s just impossible. Nothing about this move has sat right with me from the moment it was announced. I tried, but I couldn’t put my best foot forward. I will never forgive them for this.
That was an awfully long story, and there’s probably something scratching at the back of your mind. “This is a soccer website, why is he telling me about a minor league baseball team on the Wasatch Front over 600 miles away?” Well, folks, every story has a reason.
On Saturday morning, a severely mentally ill man loaded a rental car with explosive material and tried to destroy the MAC. For the record, everyone calls it the “MAC Club,” but that nickname literally means “Multnomah Athletic Club Club.” Do you want to go to the “Club Club?” Doesn’t it sound stupid when you say it out loud?
His attack, thankfully, didn’t kill anyone except for himself and all the damage was purely material. And, even more thankfully, it didn’t cause any destruction to any of the surrounding buildings. How a clearly mentally ill man was allowed to (per excellent local reporting) wander around with the pure intention of providing death and destruction to society without being institutionalized is beyond me. And, once again, nothing of serious public value was destroyed.
The MAC is private, and many members are surely mourning the interior devastation inside. I’m left to worry about the staff members and how they will be able to keep up with the pressure of increased costs of living if the club cannot find a way to resume operations in the near future. But, at least from my perspective, I was left with the first thought of potentially losing Providence Park.
It’s OK to crack a couple of jokes about the incident because ultimately no one of value got hurt and a club designed by wealthy people for wealthy people took material damage. But if that attack succeeded as designed, devastation could have befallen Portland’s soccer cathedral.
The building that has existed (in various forms) for 100 years could have been severely damaged. I don’t want to hypothesize about the extent of such damage, but it does fill my bones with a slight chill. Providence Park, above all else, is where this city gathers for joy. Regardless of how the occupants perform, everyone is always excited to go to the cathedral on Morrison Street. Even a thought of life without that glorious building is enough to begin a panic spiral.
After every season ends at Providence Park, everyone cannot wait to go back. It doesn’t matter which team is playing. The countdown begins once the final whistle of the campaign is blown into a usually cold and rainy night. The teams bring us to the stadium, but the stadium always keeps bringing us back.
The Portland Timbers have been away from Providence Park for three long weeks. Yes, the Portland Thorns beat San Diego 2-0 last Wednesday at the cathedral (to climb all the way to the top spot in the NWSL table, I might add) but the Timbers have played there for all 51 years of the club’s existence (every year that they’ve been operational, I might add). This early-season schedule has been so brutal because, above all else, it has robbed us of trips to the park. That ends next weekend as a battered Sporting Kansas City comes to town. A silly team that could once perform magic has provided some of the most magical moments our beloved stadium has ever seen. No matter how you feel about the current direction or form of the Timbers, a voice will always be in your head telling you to go.
That voice cannot be ignored. It will drag you by the scruff of the neck if it has to. The Portland Timbers play in the most beautiful ground in this vast country. This 100-year-old cathedral must be savored, because any alternative could always be so much worse.
A return home to play stinky SKC provides very little room for error. The Timbers are expected to win. In order to prove that they might be a serious team, they will have to do something that they haven’t done since their last meeting with RSL in the Wild Card Game: convincingly win. Such a victory cannot be accomplished with the way that this team is currently playing. They have to find something that they haven’t had in 2026: POWER. The climb continues.
